Stephen and Fran's Wedding

Yes it is true. We missed the event itself, but it did take the curse of Matt Kennedy, a killer hangover, a bus crash and a gay pride march to stop us...

The miserable tale goes something like this:

Matt and I got home from the bucks night I organised for Stephen at about 5.00 am on Saturday morning, so were not in completely great shape next morning. But nevertheless we'd struggled to wakefulness and were getting on with breakfast when there was an incredible loud thump and an earsplitting crack. A double decker bus had crashed into the tree out the front of our house and smashed a huge limb off it which landed in the middle of the road.

Being digital media heads all prepared for a wedding, there were not one but two digital cameras in the house and we of course hung out the window and recorded the moment for posterity. This turned out to be our downfall. Because the bus driver, rather than stopping and calling the council or doing anything responsible like that, simply backed up the bus, drove around the broken tree, and continued down the road leaving behind a crime scene. So our photos were now evidence.

Next thing was the police turning up and interviewing us and getting us to print our photos so they could stick them in their special sealable evidence baggies and sign statements and all that shit. Stupidly I spend too much time helping the constables investigations rather than saying sorry, I'm going to be late for my brother's wedding, I'll make a statement later.

So by now things are getting a bit late and its a dash to get through the shower and get dressed in our wedding finery. We've still got to get from NW London down to the deep south of Brixton.

So I think not to worry, we'll be faster in a taxi because otherwise we'll have a couple of changes on the tube then a walk at the far end to get to the registry office. And besides, it's a Saturday - the traffic can't be that bad.

Wrong!

The taxi happens to be driven by a halfwit on mogadon, and as you can probably imagine, my equilibrium is rapidly evaporating as we're inching slowly through heavy north London traffic and it's becoming more and more obvious that we will be late.

We finally get to Marble Arch, to discover that the way down by Hyde Park is *completely* blocked off. It is gay pride day and the pride march has thrown the city into complete chaos.

So now it is practically show time and we still haven't even crossed the river into south London let alone got anywhere close to Brixton. The whole while I'd been trying to call anyone in the wedding party to see if by some miracle they could postpone the event till we got there. Finally I got a call back and of course, there is no way they can hold things up - they had booked a slot months ago and have to use it. Other people are booked in for 1/2 hour later and the show must go on. I did get to speak to Stephen just before they did the deed and could only apologise for having screwed up so badly. He was fine about it and just said don't worry, we'll meet up afterwards.

But I was not fine about it at all and am now crying my eyes out in the back of a taxi that is marooned in a sea of stationary traffic. People in cars around us are politely averting their gaze while Matt and Philippa are trying to give me some consoling pats.

We finally abandoned the taxi, still practically standing still in traffic, and got the tube. Very surreal to be standing in the middle of a busy station concourse - it's pride day remember - with hordes of people dressed up in feathers, hot pants, garish makeup swarming all around me, still crying inconsolably while waiting for Matt to get his tube ticket. Stephen called me again here to let me know the deed was done and that we should meet at the London Eye. All I could do was splutter some semi coherent apologies.

Eventually we made it down to the London Eye at Waterloo and met up with the gang who were all happy and excited and eager to crack open some magnums of champagne and get on with the party. I was still sobbing with frustration and regret for having actually managed to miss my own brother's wedding, especially when I'm the only immediate family member in the frigging country. But of course Stephen and Fran were fantastic. They gave us all big hugs and kisses and said don't worry about missing the event - have some champagne instead. So finally I got somewhat dry eyed and we did manage to start the partying.

Stephen and Fran had insisted all along that it was not going to be a big deal, that it would be a very informal and fun day out with friends rather than any big elaborate affair. I just don't think they'd counted on my taking that spirit quite so literally.

The party was great fun. We had a whizz around the London Eye, then off to a fab Malaysian restaurant for a feast, then to a pub for toasts and speeches. All this distraction was enough for me to get over being upset and get on with having fun.

So after all that, the day turned out to be a real hoot. Best wedding I've never been to.

Aussie pics

Yes we have been very lax with updating this site, but here is the first taste of the new, efficient, up-to-date, cutting edge, just in time methodologies and work practices being adopted by the ginklozo management committee; bringing you all the news that's fit to Gink on a need to know basis...

Well actually it is just a very hasty selection of a few pics from our trip to Australia...

We will put more fascinating stuff up here soon. Really we will...

Anyone up for a spot of regime change?

Go to google and type in "weapons of mass destruction" (dont forget the inverted commas).

Then click the 'I'm feeling lucky' button.